You have a right to think the unthinkable. You may (or may not) be entitled to act on this thought - or even to express it. If, though, you don't allow yourself to fully explore your own ideas, at least in private, you will never really know why you are doing what you are doing. In asking yourself difficult questions or considering hypothetical situations, you are not indulging in idle speculation. You are exploring all options. And who can ever say what the unexplored contains until it has been, er... properly explored?